Types of Relatives During Christmas

By: Grace Litterer

Per the fact that I wrote an article over Types of Relatives During Thanksgiving, I figured I would honor Christmas and all of the fun family time that accompanies it with a similar article. Now, I feel as though everyone has a similar experience when it comes to extended family Christmas celebration. I feel that these experiences must be honored in a blog before I welcome the new year.

First is the College Student Cousin. I have to pay homage to this relative, mainly because it’s a classic. The College Student Cousin has one thing that really sets them apart from the others. They always ask for cash. Yes, cash is really the only thing that they want or need in their lives. In fact, their sole purpose at family Christmases is to rack up cash and withstand interrogation about their classes, their majors, and whatever else every single aunt and uncle has questions about.

Next is, of course, the Sarcastic Uncle. Now, traditionally, this person is an uncle, but they don’t have to be. This person really has one role that stands above all else, and it is vital to a family Christmas. Yes, this person absolutely must speculate about what a present consists of. Now, here is where the sarcastic part comes in. The classic is, “Well, it looks like you got a box!” However, honorable mentions for the catchphrase of a Sarcastic Uncle include, “I bet it’s a bowling ball!” or “Did you get some socks in your stocking?” Yes, according to my Sarcastic Uncle, I have gotten a box for Christmas every year since I was born, but, hey, it wouldn’t be a family Christmas without the Sarcastic Uncle.

Finally, we have the Horrible Gifter. Yes, this is a family classic. This person could be a grandma, an aunt, or a cousin. This Christmas classic is made famous by Aunt Clara and a pink bunny suit that she gifted to Ralphie in A Christmas Story. From this person, you may receive a number of items, but none that you will like. Yes, you would find anything from socks to used candles to a big, pink bunny suit.

Of course, no matter what kind of relatives you have, Christmas will always be fun. I, for one, would never want to miss the ham induced comas and competitive Pictionary tournaments that accompany my holidays. Plus, what would Christmas be without a college student interrogation, a wise crack from an uncle, and a gift you have to lie about loving?